I’m feeling restless. Maybe it’s because spring seems to be coming, but then withdraws again, leaving everything bleak and grey. I’m ready for spring, I’m waiting to welcome the new blossoms and sprouts, the fresh green leaves and the awakening of nature. But nature doesn’t want to wake up yet, or so it seems.

A few weeks ago I started a meditation course. It helps me still my mind and really look within, to truly connect with myself. The restless feeling I’m experiencing is a paradox to the tranquility I experience when meditating. I’m not sure what it is, where it comes from or what I should do with it. It’s strange, but now that I reserve time for myself everyday to meditate, I feel like I have less time for myself than when I didn’t. I don’t have time to knit, blog, write, take photo’s or do anything to express myself creatively at the moment. I know this isn’t true, because meditation course is only 2 nights a week, so there’s 5 nights left to do whatever I want. I feel like a headless chicken running around and bumping into walls. I start one thing, but before I finish it, I abandon it for something else, which in turn I don’t finish either. I have so many ideas of how I want things to look, to be or to feel, but as soon as I start working on them, I change my mind at least a hundred times.

Last Friday I was promoted, totally unexpected. This week already I will make a start in my new position and I’m very excited about it. Things are changing and shifting, I can feel it. Maybe that’s where the restless feeling is coming from. I try not to let it bother me and view it as something positive. After all, spring is coming any time now and who knows what it will bring…

PS. In honour of spring, I’ve decided to give my blog a new face as well. I haven’t found the right look yet, so chances are you’ll see a few different ones during the next weeks…